The texts
we don't send.

Research and writing on the overhead of staying in touch. Some of it is ours, with the numbers attached.

Starting conversations

How to be a low-maintenance friend without disappearing

The friendships that survive adulthood have the lowest running cost. How to keep one alive on very little, without it going quiet for good.

August 2026·6 min
Starting conversations

I just want to say one thing without starting a whole conversation

Texting is asynchronous but socially synchronous. Sending one sentence opens something, and knowing that is why the sentence often does not get sent.

this meeting could have been an email
Someone to talk to

I need someone to talk to, but I don't need advice

People answer a problem with a solution because that is what listening looks like from the inside. How to ask for the other thing instead.

I know what to do, I just wanted to say it out loud
Someone to talk to

I want company, not plans

Adult friendship is organised around arrangements, and arrangements are expensive. How to ask for somebody nearby when you do not want an occasion.

are you doing anything? not plans, I mean are you just doing anything

Where to start